The Reality of Life on a Cruise Ship

Hollywood films and travel ads make it seem like cruises will be nothing but paradise day after paradise day. Although this can happen, it’s not the default experience that everyone has. Partly this is due to the overhyped expectations. People feel that it should be perfect. If it doesn’t reach that (hard to attain) level, then they get upset – usually at the overworked crew staff.
This can be taken in a negative way, but there is also a light comical side to it. Presenting the cruise experience more realistically can help people learn to enjoy what’s more likely to happen. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at life on the (cruising) seas.
What Time Is It?
If you’ve ever lived in a dark room without windows, then you know what Einstein found out all those years ago – time is relative. Without the sun to wake you up at 6 am or let you know it’s nighttime at 7 pm, time gets a bit tricky.

As you can see from the tweet above, cruise employees know this first-hand. When you spend most of your time below deck in windowless rooms, it can be hard to keep track of the time. Is it 1 pm or 4 am?
Tour Promises
Tours are the highlights of the cruise. Sure, the giant boat with all its amenities is fantastic, but exploring a beautiful tropical island is much better! Cruise ships generally stop for a few hours at each port to let the passengers join a tour.

Tour Realities

Age Group Promises

Countless movies have portrayed this fantasy and the advertising industry does a great job propping it up as well. Although this might be the case on some cruises, it’s certainly not the norm on all of them.
Age Group Realities

Beach Promises

Beach Realities

Cruise Ship Schedules
Although working on a cruise ship can be a great way to meet other people your age and travel around the world, it would be naive to assume that the work is easy. Oftentimes, the shifts are long and the days off are short.

That’s fine if you don’t mind working 12-hour days nearly every day of the week. For some workers, this is perfect – it allows them to keep expenses low and savings high. However, it requires you to be comfortable only sleeping five or so hours a night.
Angry Customers
It may sound surprising, but there are quite a lot of angry passengers at sea. Some passengers expect to be catered to and pampered to every minute of every day of their cruise. When this doesn’t happen, they get angry.

That anger is usually directed at cruise ship staff. They have to deal with getting yelled at, getting spat on, and occasionally getting a fist (or an apple) thrown at them. Working onboard requires some thick skin and the ability to brush off unhappy customers.
Sunbathe or Nap?
Although some cruise ship realities are unpleasant, others are downright perfect. Case in point: the tweet below. Imagine the only problem you have is choosing between a sunbathing session on a beautiful beach or an afternoon nap in a hammock. Sounds like paradise.

That enviable choice is something that cruise ship employees and passengers get to deal with on their trips. Sure it’s not every day, but when those days happen they’re extra special. We vote for soaking in the sun and then taking a nap.
Stolen Identities
Despite having so little closet space, workers do manage to misplace their clothing sometimes. It should be obvious where things are stored, but maybe that tiny little name tag is harder to keep track of!

Whether it was a windy week or an alcohol-infused month, Jess seems to have lost one too many badges. Kylie is a really popular name right now, though!
Oysters and Mussels and Clams, Oh My
Stomach bugs are not really a crowd favorite in the best of times, but what about when everyone is trapped at sea? No fun, not even a little!

Given the bulk prepared for thousands of hungry guests, a stomach illness can spread through the whole ship in just a day! Needless to say, an entire ship of vomiting, pooping guests in a rage are no picnic for employees to please. They might be afflicted, as well!
Something's Fishy
So with all that free food, workers must be gaining weight like crazy! Hard to limit oneself at the buffet, right?

Not so fast, they say. The food workers eat can get seriously weird! While not forced to actually eat weird leftovers from people's plates, the employee dining is not quite as nice as the VIP paying cruisers.
Depending on what's actually available, tons of white rice and sardines might be on the menu. And it might be all the time!
Off to the Slammer
While passengers probably spend the majority of their time in restaurants, clubs, and pools onboard a luxury cruise, there are a few things beneath the deck that ensures it all runs smoothly. What giant vessel at sea would be complete without its own morgue and jail?

Indeed, most ships do have these features. They are ready for anything, and that is sadly often necessary. Employees report dealing with an average of one death per cruise! Not so fun fact: Most guests are over retirement age. Who would have guessed?
The Ship’s Bathroom – Expectations

The Ship’s Bathroom – Reality
Most passengers find their bathroom to be uncomfortably small. They’re lucky if they get a tiny portal window, but the view is the least of their problems. It’s difficult to do everything you need to do in such a cramped space, and for couples, there’s no hope of being able to take showers together.

The Entertainment – Expectations

The Entertainment – Reality

The Casino – Expectations

The Casino – Reality

Boarding the Cruise Ship – Expectations

Boarding the Cruise Ship – Reality

The Cruise Ship – Expectations

The Cruise Ship – Reality

The Weather – Expectations

The Weather – Reality

The Activities – Expectations

The Activities – Reality

The Cruise Ship Spa – Expectations

The Cruise Ship Spa – Reality

Ocean Tours – Expectations

Ocean Tours – Reality

Romantic Dates – Expectations
There's nothing more charming than watching the sun sink over the horizon on a warm night with the person you love, isn't that so? This scene is common in romantic films and novels, however, don't go searching for this idea of a whimsical date on a cruise ship.

Romantic Dates – Reality

Motion Sickness – Expectations

Motion Sickness – Reality

The Titanic Moment – Expectations
Whenever a couple goes on a cruise, at least one of them is usually fantasizing about having a heartfelt encounter complete with the icing on the cake – the iconic Titanic moment. There is something undeniably magical about standing together at the bow, sunset in the background, and the endless ocean stretching out ahead.

The Titanic Moment – Reality

The Ship’s Crew – Expectations

The Ship’s Crew – Reality

Pirates – Expectations

Pirates – Reality

The Beverages – Expectations
A holiday isn't complete without your favorite drink in your hand. Whether you’re into mojitos or virgin cocktails, you likely have a specific picture of what the beverages ought to resemble on a cruise ship; they ought to be served in tall glasses, gorgeously embellished, with a spot of lemon and a long straw.

The Beverages – Reality
In truth, the beverages aren't as impressive as we anticipate. The assortment is always more modest than what we expect, and elaborate mixed drinks aren't on the menu. On most cruise ships, you get your beverages from a self-service bar, and you wind up drinking them on plastic seats. The image below offers all the proof you need.

The Pool – Expectations

The Pool – Reality

The Wildest Confessions From Cruise Ship Workers
Everyone needs a little luxury at sea sometimes. And as it turns out, cruisin' is the solution for around 20 million people a year! In such a bustling industry, a qualified fleet of workers definitely needs to run it all. What do these folks actually do though, behind the scenes?

As part of the hospitality industry, cruise ship employees are paid to make vacationers as happy as possible. But what are their days — and nights — really like out on the choppy seas, year round?
Say My Name
There are different levels of travel out there, and cruises are no different. Ultra-luxury ships exist, of course. And for workers, the perks are definitely better onboard these special vessels. Is it all extra fun and games, though?

Indeed, it is not. Increased ticket prices mean increased perks for the guests, first and foremost. This includes being greeted personally and trying to remember 800 names can be close to impossible. Special personalized service is key for tips, of course!
Collecting That Booty
First and foremost, what are these smiling faces actually paid? As it turns out, most positions offer an hourly wage. Altogether, it might add up to $1,200-$2,500 a month. But wait, the benefits!

While most people have to subtract obvious living expenses from that salary stub, the cruise ship itself is an amazing perk. No housing, no car payments, no food costs, and no laundry are part of this lifestyle.
Some workers even report free dry cleaning and housekeeping! Alcohol tends to be expensive onboard, however. More about that soon, mates!
Sharing is Caring
And what about the lodging, captain? MTV Cribs never took a look at this lifestyle, did they? Let's take a peek below deck!

Basic workers might have free digs, but living quarters are often shared. And sadly, that doesn't mean double the space! Shared cabins are tiny, cramped, and hardly private. Three workers use the same room, and dating can be awkward. Think about it!
King of the Cruise
For the lucky few, single rooms do exist! Still, tiny is the operative word. Barely larger than the size of the mattress itself, officers get to enjoy this private heaven most of the time.

Apparently, this means a lot to the cruise ship working ladies. Just a bit of privacy makes a big difference in love life outcomes, and most people can probably understand why!
King of the Seas
A major perk of any travel job is certainly the travel! In a globalized world, people have bigger bucket lists than ever. But oh, the expenses!

Working on a cruise ship means that the stops in foreign ports are constant. Passengers get to stroll around and see new islands, and so do workers from time to time!
Anyone with the travel bug will get a lot of that out of their system in this industry, fast. They might even find a brand new appreciation for home sweet home! Funny how that works, sometimes.
Super Secret Extra Stuff
Most industries offer perks for employees directly related to the product, and it's always a lucky day when that means tropical cruises!

Almost every cruise company offers an employee discount after a year. And it's significant stuff! Taking the family on a cruise for $15 a day is not unheard of, and that's a big deal to working people who want to see the world. It's all about those benefits, baby.
Forever Young
Cruise ship cabins often operate like wild college dorms, and that seems fun at first. After all, there's very little to do onboard besides pursue women and drink! But years of this lifestyle do take their toll, as long term workers explain.

Too much smoking and drinking combined with long, grueling hours ages human beings. Yes, even on sunny cruises. Something to keep in mind for newbies in the industry, perhaps!
Crappy Times
Many might expect a power outage is no fun onboard a cruise, but the chaos is worse than it sounds. Much, much worse.

A lack of electricity quickly means overflowing toilets and increasing temperatures in tiny insulated rooms! Passengers may be forced to sleep on deck, and the special stabilizers that help the ship cruise smoothly are offline. Toilets sloshing around a hot ship swaying from side to side? No thank you, captain!
But Why is the Rum Gone?
During downtime, naps are not always the first choice. Watching guests enjoy their own vacations make partying even more appealing! Who can really be a bystander when there's dancing and rum all around, all the time?

Employees say they party hard, and there are Instagram accounts to prove it! To get around alcohol limits, it is common to add blue food coloring to vodka and put it in a mouthwash bottle. Pirate tactics, very impressive!
All the Mer-Maids
Friends are forever, and cruise ship family is no different. Floating out at sea away from civilization would be quite lonely without a solid posse, wouldn't it?

In general, friends get us through the choppy times in life. Thirteen hours a day of labor followed by dinner, discussion, and leisure do make for some close bonding! How could it be any other way?
The girl gangs on board rival no other, and that's a good thing when weathering the storm is literally a part of the job.
The Luxurious Hot Tubs – Expectations

In any case, the perfect picture does not involve us sitting in a tepid hot tub with a gathering of sweaty, drunk strangers.
The Luxurious Hot Tubs - Reality

Bubble Bubble, Toil and Trouble
For those sensitive to seasickness, no need to apply to this job. Frankly, even the shower experience could be nauseating!

Sounds like it could be a bit of an adventure, for the right candidate. Rocky seas, shampoo, please! Shower time is usually a way to soap up and clear off all those suds, but a little creativity might be necessary on the rougher days.
Way Too Much TMI
Sadly, a big part of the job seems to be catching lovers in the act. Not in their rooms, of course. Public places seem to be just as popular with drunk, crazy vacationers!

For the workers, it's a little bit awkward to intervene. Nobody likes to stop a good love story, but the pool? Under tables and in lifeboats? Things have a time and place, people!
Everyone may be floating in international waters, but there are still some basic rules of decency. Try it, and find out the hard way!
Blastin' in Barbados
It's definitely not unheard of for a big name to pop by for a performance or two on a luxury cruise. In these cases, special cabins and separate lounges and recreation are set aside for them. They even get to use the officer's facilities!
But do they stay on board for weeks after their performance? Are they actually stuck at sea with their fans?

No, they have their escape route. Big stars board and leave at the ports along the way, and then go about their VIP celebrity business. No one should be shocked!
Risky Business
Cruise ship workers report that they get hit on all the time by guests. It sounds like a great way to meet a cabin partner!

Well, maybe just one time. As soon as this is discovered, the cruise company fires the offending employee! Dropped off at the next island, frisky workers will be abandoned without immediate pay to return home. In summary, this is a big no-no!
Jaws is Sad
For anyone who has seen Titanic — meaning everyone — the prospect of a sinking ship is no laughing matter.
Even if the ship cruises the warm Caribbean waters, there are definitely sharks floating around at all times! Freezing to death or becoming a sea snack seems like an occupational hazard few would really sign up for in good times. Is that a big concern onboard?

As it turns out, scary storms do not freak out long term employees. The vessel is the size of a tiny island! It's not as easy as it sounds to capsize, and the ship has stabilizers. Not your average rowboat, people!
Poor Unfortunate Souls
While most of us are smart enough to stay away from the ledge between life and the stormy abyss, there are a variety of people sober and intoxicated who like to live on the edge. Or even jump off the ledge!

When this does occur, the cruise staff spend hours trying to determine where they have fallen off the ship. Often, it is impossible to find them. The sea can be harsh, as well as this job sometimes!
FML Dinner Edition
With 3,000 guests onboard a cruise ship at one time, there are plenty of hungry mouths to feed at least three times a day. Keeping the customer happy means keeping their bellies full, but the staff gets their own tummy rumblings too!

Snacking all day and then gorging some more is part of the magic of vacation. But it certainly sounds tough to go to the back of the line when food is finally in sight! Patience is a virtue, or so they say.
James Bond Style
External hard drives are may seem unnecessary to most of us, but what about the chronic sea adventurers? It seems that the concept of value changes a lot when one spends the year just floating around!

Wi-Fi does exist, but it costs a lot! Without a staff discount, this amenity threatens to eat up all the lifestyle savings cruise workers would otherwise enjoy. The solution: Pre-loaded hard drives chock full o' movies and tunes! Problem solved.
Blame it on the A-A-A-A-A-Alcohol
Some companies have noticed the crazy amounts of rum going on, employee-wise. As a result, the rules in the industry have been changing. Sad times, for the party animals on the crew!

Zero alcohol policies are being enforced more and more, and some ships refuse to serve medical and engine employees at all. With a growing specialty in the legal field for cruise ship lawsuits, this should come as no surprise. The times, they are a-changin'!
My Brain Will Not Go On
Apparently, customers like to ask many of the same questions cruise after cruise. It gets predictable, but one inquiry seems like it's officially past the exportation date. No, none of the workers know Jack or Rose!

Yes, more than two decades have passed since Titanic came out in theaters, but it's time to move on! As most people do know, it was never real anyway. These are totally fictional characters!
The Bedrooms – Expectations

The Bedrooms – Reality
As indicated by some exceptionally baffled cruise passengers, the rooms may be much more modest than anticipated. Cruise ships look enormous outwardly, and they are, but they also house hundreds of passengers, which implies that not all rooms can be as large as the passenger might like.

Many rooms don’t even have ocean views. However, they do offer pictures of beaches and ocean waves, which is just as good, right?
The Dining Hall – Expectations

The Dining Hall – Reality

The Gifts – Expectations

The Gifts – Reality

The Tender – Expectations

The Tender – Reality

Tour Destinations – Expectations

Tour Destinations – Reality

99 Problems But a Ship Ain't One
People always have their complaints, but cruise ship workers say they get some silly feedback. Whether passengers are mad at how loud the ocean actually is, or demand that the boat stays longer at a port just for them out of thousands of guests, the staff have a lot to deal with.

In America, the customer is always right. Does that still apply out at sea? Guests would say yes, of course!