Express Relief
I can't express the relief I felt when it was all over—the endless hassle and stress were behind me, or so I believed. But that sense of peace was short-lived.
The day he officially became mine, I received an urgent call from his biological mother. She had just found out she was pregnant again and asked if I would take in the new baby.
A Committed Relationship
Four years ago, I was in a committed relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had recently graduated and were full of dreams about what the future would hold. We talked about our plans, excited about the possibilities ahead.
However, things didn’t turn out as we expected. The relationship ended, and it forced me to take a hard look at my life. I found myself at a crossroads, questioning everything I had thought I knew. It became clear that I had to make some tough choices, though I wasn’t sure I was prepared for such a big decision.
Building A Future
When we first moved in together, we dreamed of building the future we had always envisioned as a couple. Marriage and starting a family were central to those plans, and we spoke about them often.
However, I soon realized that these dreams were only words for him. He had his own agenda, filled with secrets that would unravel everything we had hoped for. In the end, his choices led to our breakup and my decision to adopt on my own.
Shattered Plans
Jake shattered all our plans when I discovered he was cheating on me with a coworker. Not only had he betrayed me emotionally, but he had also sold her the same promises he had once made to me.
Furious and heartbroken, I forced him out of my life, vowing never to love again. However, that decision left me grappling with a bigger issue—one that I wasn’t sure how to handle.
All The Plans
As I began to regain my composure, it hit me that all the plans I had envisioned for the future had crumbled. I wasn’t ready to dive into another relationship, not in the state I was in.
Still, the desire to have a child and build a family had always been a dream of mine. The reality, though, was that it wasn’t something I could achieve on my own. I found myself at a crossroads—should I let go of those dreams and move forward without them?
Important Dreams
I spent hours reflecting and came to the conclusion that this dream was too important to abandon. As an only child, the desire to become a mother had been with me since childhood, a goal that shaped much of my aspirations.
It was always the one thing I set my heart on, and I couldn’t simply walk away from it. I knew there had to be other options and pathways to make this dream a reality, no matter the challenges.
Time To Reflect
After taking some time to reflect, I carefully considered the various options ahead of me. As a single woman, IVF was a possibility, and adoption was another route I was open to exploring. I wasn’t the type to dismiss either of these choices.
However, each option came with its own set of challenges, making the decision more complex. I knew I had to weigh the pros and cons of each path before making a final choice. It was a lot to think about, but I was determined to make the right decision for my future.
A Huge Challenge
IVF presented a huge challenge for me. I had just begun my first real job and couldn't afford to take three months off for maternity leave. On top of that, the costs of IVF were beyond my financial reach.
Adoption seemed like the only alternative, but it came with its own set of difficulties—ones I wouldn’t fully understand until much later in the process.
Two Possibilities
Adoption presented two possibilities: fostering or open adoption. I wasn't sure which path would be the best fit for me at the time. Each option seemed to offer its own set of challenges, and I found myself uncertain about which one to pursue.
Fostering, in particular, raised a few concerns. I worried about the emotional toll it might take if the biological parents decided to reclaim their child. There was also the uncertainty of whether there would even be babies available for adoption, which added to my hesitation.
Welcoming A New Baby
Open adoption offered me the chance to welcome a baby into my life, something I had always dreamed of. While I didn’t mind caring for a four-year-old, my heart longed to experience the full journey of parenthood from the very beginning.
What I wasn’t prepared for, though, was how lengthy and challenging the open adoption process would be—especially as a young, single woman. It turned out to be far more complicated than I had imagined, testing my patience and resolve at every step.
Endless Research
I spent the next few weeks researching the two options that were available to me. And that was when I started realizing that things weren’t as easy as they seemed.
People were going on and on about how hard it was for a single person to adopt. But that didn’t mean I would be giving up. This was something worth fighting for.
My Mind Was Made Up
After reading through countless websites and attending a few classes regarding the process, my mind was made up.
I decided to go with open adoption. It was a better option for me, and it could help fulfill my wants and needs. But that was where the difficult part of the process began. That was when I realized that what the people said was right.
No Easy Feat
The adoption process was nothing to be laughed at, especially when it came to a single person. Sure, I was earning enough to take care of myself and the baby. But the decision wasn’t up to me.
That was the first thing my caseworker warned me about. But at the time, I didn’t believe her. I’d learn my lesson soon enough.
Tons Of Paperwork
My journey started with a ton of paperwork. I had to fill in one form after another, and once those were submitted, I received even more.
I had to submit all my financial details. They conducted an entire search into my history. And I needed to arrange a police clearance certificate to prove that I didn’t have a criminal record.
Nerve-Wracking Meetings
But that was just the beginning. After months of filling in papers and exposing my entire life to random strangers, I had to pass one more test.
I scrubbed and cleaned, ensuring that my house was spotless by the time my caseworker arrived. If she didn’t approve this, I’d lose any chance I ever had. But I had no idea what she would be looking for.
The Wait Began
Luckily, the house inspection was approved. I passed every single test that they threw my way, but that didn’t mean I would get a baby.
That was when the wait began, and it was an endless one. Every time someone popped up, I was contacted and agreed to have my information passed on. But there was yet another obstacle in my way.
I Was Incredibly Anxious
Every time my information was sent to a family, I anxiously waited for a response. And each time it came, I was terribly disappointed.
No one chose me, and I couldn’t help but wonder why that was. So I scheduled a meeting with my caseworker and asked her what it was that I was doing wrong. Her answer crushed me.
No One Wanted A Single Mom
The caseworker informed me that very few families were willing to accept a single parent that’s looking to adopt.
They might not want their children, but they still want what’s best for them. And many people believe that single-parent households aren’t the best way to go. That’s why so many of them turned me down.
A Call Came In
After that discussion, I felt defeated. I thought that I’d never be picked by a family that was looking to put their child up for adoption.
But a few weeks later, I received a call from my caseworker. She had shown my profile to a woman who wanted to put her baby up for adoption, and she ended up picking me.
It Seemed Solid
My heart raced against the walls of my chest as I listened to my caseworker speak. After the selection process, she actually had a talk with the mother to confirm that this was what she wanted.
Everything seemed perfect, so my details were given to her. And the next day, we spent over an hour talking about what was going to happen.
We Met
After ensuring that this was what she wanted, I flew From Seattle to LA to meet the mother of my future child.
I stayed close to her for a week, and during that time, we worked together to ensure that everything would go smoothly. She told me about her hopes for the future and the reasons for her giving the baby up.
A Done Deal
I even went with her when she got an ultrasound, and I saw the baby for the first time. It seemed like a done deal to me. But then something terrible happened.
The mom was due to give birth in one month, and she had invited me to join her in the hospital. I immediately started making plans, but I soon discovered that I had made a massive mistake.
She Just Vanished
After I arrived home, I stayed in contact with the mom. And about a week before she was supposed to go into labor, I tried to call her to confirm our plans.
But there was no answer. I called multiple times and even sent a few texts, but I never heard from the woman again. Had she changed her mind?
We Tried Everything
After several failed attempts, I contacted my caseworker and told her what had happened. She tried to call the mom herself to find out what was going on, but she got the same response.
The due date came and went, but neither of us ever heard back from the woman whose child I was supposed to adopt.
The Wait Began Again
That was when the dreaded wait began once more. My profile was sent to several more families, but once again, I kept on being denied.
Years had passed. I was now a 25-year-old with a stable career and an even better salary. I bought the home I lived in, and my life was flourishing. But one thing was still missing.
I Almost Gave Up
After so many years and over 20 refusals, I was starting to lose hope. Each refusal hurt me more than the last, and I was really starting to consider giving up.
It seemed like I would never get the baby I always wanted. And the time had come for me to admit defeat. But then something happened that would change my entire outlook.
A Missed Call
I was working late one night, and just as I finished, I saw that there was a missed call from my caseworker.
Sinking down in my chair, I decided to call her back, hoping that someone was willing to give me a chance. I knew that it would be my last chance, and I just wasn’t ready to give up yet.
I Was Shocked
My caseworker let out a sigh of relief as she answered the phone, and that was when I realized that someone had picked me.
She gave me all the details, and I realized just how much trouble I was actually in. The woman was due any day, so I could have a baby before I knew it.
A Week Later
I met the mother, and we had an instant connection. So when she gave birth a week later, she immediately called me and told me to come to the hospital.
I was in a state of shock as I jumped out of bed and rushed to the hospital. The time had finally come. I was about to be a mother.
Just The Beginning
But things weren’t as easy as they seemed. My son, Jake, was born with some serious complications because his birth mother was an addict.
He was underweight and severely malnourished, meaning he’d have to spend the next few weeks, if not months, in intensive care. But I was right by his side the entire time, and because of that, his mom had another surprise in store for me.