The Secret Life of Objects: What Would Inanimate Objects Say if They Could Talk?

We live in a world full of objects, most of which are indifferent to our existence. If we could hear them, what would they say? Are these objects thinking of us or are we imagining things? Curious about this concept, Teo Zirinis, an artist and designer based in Greece began drawing his ideas about the secret thoughts of food, cartoons, books, and other everyday objects.

This talented designer has collected his funny illustrations in a new book called, The Secret Thoughts of Simple Everyday Objects. Let’s take a look at his representation of what the objects we use every day think of us. Who knows? You may even be able to relate to some of the things these objects think!

Looking Forward to Retirement

Have you ever wondered what your toilet paper has been through? It's pulled on, ripped apart, probably smells awful, and is then disposed of like it’s worthless. Toilet paper rolls would surely be happy about reaching retirement.

It would be a delight to finally reach that day when they don't have to deal with annoying problems anymore. Their little lives aren’t at all nice or comfortable. We’re sure that being retired is much nicer than hanging out next to a toilet all day. Soon enough, happiness will come to all toilet rolls!

Conversation Cloud

It can be hard to know what to say when you don't share your thoughts with others. Sometimes, we think we're ready to tell the world how we feel, but the words never come. Instead of evolving into speech, they remain trapped in a metaphorical thought bubble. 

This is precisely what the artist was getting at with this picture. If Teo Zirinis isn’t an introvert, he certainly understands what it’s like to be one. Extroverts always seem to feel the need to point out the fact that you’re quiet. Introverts of the world: you don’t have to apologize! 

The Famed Balloon

A red balloon was featured in It, and now none of us can ever look at one again without getting a shiver of horror. In the balloon’s world, however, it is a famous movie star, treated with the same deference we humans give to people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

This famous balloon certainly does look pleased with itself. However, the first IT movie came out quite a long time ago. That balloon still looks fresh and new. Perhaps, like many Hollywood celebrities, it has had some plastic surgery done!  

Perfect Puzzle Pieces

There's a lot of power in coming together. The individual parts are able to transcend their own form and create something incredible. When they join together, they realize that, while they have individual worth, they were always meant to be part of something bigger. 

Isn't that how we are? Together, we're creating a complete picture that none of us could comprehend on our own. This is a beautiful example of art imitating life. We can all relate to these puzzle pieces! 

Evolution Isn’t Always Predictable

Although Darwin's theory of evolution has a focus on how species change in response to natural selection, mistakes can happen. By now, everyone knows that every now and then, something goes wrong. Even the most intelligent species sometimes make mistakes.

 If there is one thing chickens have taught us all, it's that sometimes you just need to laugh about it. The current theory is that birds like chickens evolved from dinosaurs. Though we agree that dinosaurs were definitely cool, we’re big fans of chickens too!

Monday Madness 

This guy is unstoppable! He never gets tired, he never stops, and nothing seems to bother him. There are so many ways to kill a human being but nothing works on him. He is an immortal being that has been tormenting humanity since the dawn of time.

He doesn't have any physical or magical powers and never stays still, but since he is infinite, he always comes back again and again to continue his reign of ruin. We are talking, of course, about Monday. 

The Real Superheroes

When it comes to health, you want a treatment that's tailored specifically to meet your needs. That's why teaming up with Flu-Fighters is the obvious choice. These real-life inanimate superheroes are depicted below in all their flu-fighting glory. 

Though we doubt these guys will get their own Marvel movie anytime soon, they have helped all of us recover more quickly from viruses and other ailments. Without them, life would be a lot more difficult. So, be thankful for the inanimate objects who are always there to save the day.

True Test of a Champion

Let's imagine it's your job to be a tennis ball. You're blasted around by sweaty hands, hit by high-speed rackets, and constantly attacked by frustrated dogs. That sounds like tough work. Indeed, being a tennis ball probably ranks fairly high on the list of careers no one wants to have.

These tennis balls are here to prove that point. One clearly got to spend the day hanging out in the tube and relaxing. However, its friend had a rough day on the tennis court, or worse yet, in the park, getting slobbered on by a dog.  

More Tennis Trauma 

If the last entry wasn’t enough to make you have sympathy for tennis balls, this one surely will. While the racquets are always taken care of by their owners, tennis balls get smashed around the court, and no one cares whether they survive the match or not. 

This poor little injured tennis ball is clearly miffed about the use of the word “fun.” It certainly wasn’t fun for the ball! Too bad inanimate objects don’t have rights – there’s nothing it can do about its predicament. 

No S’more, Please!

This is the cutest depiction of marshmallows we’ve ever seen. Though a camping trip with marshmallows (or better yet, S’mores) is fun for humans, for the marshmallows, it’s a horror story! 

If you think about it from their perspective, it makes perfect sense. Getting skewered on a stick and then roasted over a fire is no one’s idea of fun. Camping will never be the same again!

Save the Planet

Have you heard that cows actually contribute a surprising amount to the gas emissions that contribute to global warming? This isn’t the cows’ fault – it’s more to do with mass production and factory farming. However, it seems aliens don’t know this. 

Many UFO enthusiasts believe that aliens regularly abduct cows. While it may be for experimentation, Teo Zirinis has a unique alternative theory. Maybe the aliens are trying to solve global warming, one cow at a time! 

The Floor Is… Wasabi?

Most of us played “the floor is lava” as kids, but few (if any) of us thought to play “the floor is wasabi.” This is probably because wasabi is delicious to us. For sushi rolls, however, it is a sign of impending doom. 

When a sushi roll meets wasabi, the next thing it usually encounters is a mouth. So, it’s no wonder they’re expressing such fear! Eating sushi is going to be so weird from now. This is an image you just can’t unsee!

Fashionable Food

Who knew hotdogs had so much style? This bun-jacket does look quite chic, and that hotdog looks incredibly pleased with itself. We wonder if it knows that getting a bun puts it one step closer to being eaten. 

Life isn’t easy when you’re an inanimate object. One minute you’re getting a glam fashion accessory, then the next thing you know, you’re being doused in ketchup and shoved in someone’s mouth. Spare a thought for your food the next time you take a bite!

Anatomy Lessons Are Easy When You’re a Popsicle

Biology is not an easy subject, and human anatomy alone is overwhelmingly complex. If you’re a popsicle, however, science lessons are a whole lot easier. This cute popsicle demonstrates how easy it is to understand the inner workings of its species. 

There’s a skeleton… and that’s about all there is to it. While we love simplicity, there’s also a beauty to the complex inner workings of living creatures. The fact that we don’t understand everything is all part of the joy of living. 

Settling Down

Even inanimate objects move around sometimes. Of course, they’re helped by their owners, but these moves are still exciting for them. Well, that’s how Teo Zirinis sees it anyway! Here, he’s depicted two cute succulents who have just found their perfect new home. 

Repotting a plant isn’t always easy. Sometimes, no matter how much you love their new home, they’re just not into it and they wilt and die. Thankfully, these two little plants love their new abode. 

Guac Have You Done?

This image depicts a genuine method for growing an avocado tree from a seed. Placing it like this in a cup of water will help it sprout, and when you have a healthy seedling, you can plant it in your garden and grow an avocado tree. 

Of course, this avocado doesn’t understand the process. It’s no good reasoning with inanimate objects, so this poor little guy will just have to wait and see for himself that new life will soon spring forth. 

Peel It All Off

If you do ever visit a nude beach, we don’t recommend bringing a peeled banana with you – it’ll only get covered in sand, which is hardly a-peel-ing. It’s a terrible pun, but someone had to do it! 

Bad jokes aside, peeling a banana will never be the same again after looking at this picture. We also wonder what other objects, like sunscreen, towels, and sunglasses, think of nude beaches. Are they fans? Or do they wish people would leave their swimsuits on? 

Cork Woes

Champagne corks are so lucky. When removed from their bottles, they get to fly through the air in a spectacular arc that makes everyone cheer. For the corks that reside in regular bottles of wine, life is far less exciting. 

While their champaign-dwelling compatriots get to fly, they have to endure the terror of the corkscrew. We know which type of cork we’d rather be! Thankfully, this little guy doesn’t seem to be too bothered by the contraption sticking out of his head. 

The Grate-est of Friends

We love a good pun, and we love a bad pun even better. This one sits somewhere in between, and we are definite fans. However, we can’t help but wonder how the cheese feels about the friendship once the grating begins. 

There’s a reason we talk about people grating on our nerves. Grating is never fun, no matter how close of a friend someone is. However, these two friends look like their relationship couldn’t be better, so we’ll let it go! 

Traumatic Taco Tuesdays

Taco Tuesday is one of the greatest days ever for humans, but for the tacos, it’s a different story. Just as marshmallows see camping trips as horror stories, so too do tacos see Tuesdays as a day of terror. 

We wouldn’t be too excited about Tuesdays either if we were tacos. This little taco has turned the dreaded day into a campfire horror story with which to terrify its crispy friends. Since they’re all stuffed and ready, we’d say their days are already numbered. 

Bad Angles

Ask any selfie-obsessed social media lover, and they’ll tell you that getting the perfect pic is all about the angles. Of course, lighting plays a large part too, as do filters and image editing software! 

Clearly, someone needs to let the Loch Ness Monster know that she shouldn’t be comparing herself to the pictures she sees online. No one ever gets a good angle of her, so she shouldn’t feel bad for looking blurry in photos! 

A Different Kind of Pirate

This is a cute take on what might happen if a film is pirated. It stands as a warning to us all to avoid seeking out illegal pirate copies of the movies we wish to see. Instead, we should wait patiently until they are available in cinemas or on our favorite streaming platform. 

People work hard and invest a lot of money into making movies, so it’s important to do our bit to pay them for their work. Otherwise, we may end up with dangerous little pirates like this one running around! 

Life is Hard for a French Press

Pressure is a part of everyday life for a French press. This one is clearly starting to feel stressed out about it! We’re sure the constant flow of caffeine doesn’t help – though it certainly makes us feel energetic, caffeine can also contribute to anxiety. 

Perhaps this cute French press needs to take a break and enjoy some decaf coffee for a while. We doubt its owner will be excited about this idea, however, so it’s unlikely that “ze pressure” will ease up any time soon. 

Storm in a Snowglobe

Teo Zirinis is at it again with the puns. This time, he’s applied his creative mind to snowglobes and the way they might think. If people brainstorm when they have big ideas to explore, then surely snowglobes snowstorm. 

Next time you shake up a snowglobe, remember that you’re sending all sorts of ideas and thoughts tumbling around in its dome. We wonder what snowglobes have to brainstorm about. 

Hide and Seek

To-do lists can be quite tricky. If you’re not careful, they can get out of control, with far more things on the page than you could possibly get done in one day. The artist captured this concept by giving a to-do list a mind of its own. 

As you can see, this to-do list is not conforming to anyone else’s ideas. It wants to be free, and that angry pencil can’t do a thing about it. If you have trouble staying on track and being productive throughout the day, you can surely relate.

Chocolate Chips

If only casinos really did trade in chocolate chips – our grandmas would all be rich by now! This chocolate chip cookie has gone all in, putting all its chips on the table. Is it even a chocolate chip cookie anymore?

If it loses all its chips, this cookie is at risk of slipping into an existential crisis. It wouldn’t identify as any other type of dessert, but at the same time, it would no longer be able to call itself a chocolate chip cookie. Here’s hoping it wins!

Don’t Press the Drama Button

We all have that one friend who likes to bring drama to the table. Everything is going fine, but they have to stop the fun to create a scene. After a while, you have a choice – put up with their behavior, stop spending so much time with them, or call them out on it.

The play button has clearly had enough of the pause button’s drama. It’s chosen to call out the bad behavior. However, it probably could’ve taken a more sensitive approach. Accusing someone of being dramatic usually only makes things worse!

What’s My Name Again?

Even if you have the simplest name, you’ve probably experienced this at least once in your life. Indeed, we have a theory that coffee shop workers do it on purpose to entertain themselves.

Those of us with unusual names have long since let go of expecting anyone in customer service to get it right. However, if you have a name like Jim or Jessica, it makes sense that people would spell it right. Still, there’s no use getting upset about it. 

What Are the Odds?

Here’s another cute pun, this time taking a gentle jab at Gen Z and their common phrase “I can’t even.” This calculator has lost all the even numbers from its keys, so it literally can’t even. It’s even lost the plus and minus keys which would help it get to some even numbers.

There’s no way this calculator could make an even number with the keys it has available. No wonder it’s so upset. Odd numbers are great, but they’re only half the story.

Brain Freeze

If you thought brain freeze was bad, imagine being a refrigerator and having to deal with it 24/7. It’s such an odd feeling, and though it doesn’t exactly hurt, it’s so unpleasant that it’s hard to think about anything else until you’ve gotten rid of it.

We’ve heard that the trick for beating brain freeze is to press your tongue into the roof of your mouth. Rub it around to produce some friction and warmth – this is meant to make the feeling go away quicker. 

Warm Hugs

If you thought brain freeze was bad, imagine being a refrigerator and having to deal with it 24/7. It’s such an odd feeling, and though it doesn’t exactly hurt, it’s so unpleasant that it’s hard to think about anything else until you’ve gotten rid of it. 

Of course, if hot water bottles could talk, they would ask for a hug. That is, after all, what they are designed for. A sentient hot water bottle would be such an amazing friend – full of love and always happy to share their warmth.

Stop Flaking!

Even cornflakes aren’t immune to fake news. One of these flakes is concerned about rising milk levels and flash flooding, while the other is convinced that it’s all “flake.” The artist’s commitment to making puns is impressive! 

These cornflakes should be happy they don’t have social media to contend with as studies have shown that this is where fake news spreads the fastest. Hot tip: If you’re reading news on social media, be sure to read the whole article instead of just the headline, and always check the source!

Blowing Your Top

Sometimes, you just wake up in a bad mood and it takes a cup of coffee and your favorite breakfast treats to get you back on track. This is clearly what happened to this volcano. It’s having a bad hair day, and it’s not happy about it. 

If you ever wake up feeling grumpy, just remember that a warm shower can make you feel infinitely better. Exercise helps too, and having a nutritious breakfast is essential. Take care of yourself, so you don’t end up looking like this cranky volcano!

Plant Puns

Okay, this pun is pretty obscure. Only those who are obsessed with gardening will know that the plant depicted in the image is called a yucca. With this piece of the puzzle in place, the “yucca do it” pun makes a lot more sense.  

Everyone needs some encouragement in life, and it would be amazing if our yucca plants really were cheering us on. Perhaps they are in their own quiet way. We’re keen to go plant shopping now! 

Pickup Lines

Everyone loves a cheesy pickup line, but this takes it to the next level. This sweater is hanging on a line while delivering a pickup line to another sweater. What do you think of the puns so far? Teo Zirinis clearly loves them. 

The one-liners the artist uses in his work remind us of dad jokes. You may roll your eyes at some of them, but they still produce a smile. Next time you hang out laundry, remember not to leave the sweater sleeves hanging! 

Friendly Food

We call it comfort food for a reason – some treats are so tasty that they seem to have the power to heal a broken heart. Chocolate has a place on this list along with ice cream, cookie dough, pancakes, and peanut butter. 

Everyone has their own go-to comfort foods when they’re feeling low. However, chocolate and ice cream seem to be on almost everyone’s list. This heart looks like it’s already feeling better, despite its injuries.

Candy Cane Upgrade

You’ve heard of candy canes, but what about a candy walker? It’s the next logical step if the cane isn’t cutting it anymore. However, this gingerbread man looks confused. 

A candy cane walker would be difficult to eat. However, it seems to be doing a marvelous job of helping the gingerbread man get around. Perhaps the other one is wishing he’d thought to upgrade his cane to a walker. 

The Ultimate Book Nook

There’s nothing like curling up in your favorite chair with a good book on a rainy day. Grab a cozy blanket and a steaming cup of tea or coffee, and you have a literature lover’s dream. The picture below captures this vibe by giving life to the book you’ll be reading. 

Books do have a sense of personality to them since they share such incredible stories with you. It’s easy to get attached to a good book, and it’s common for avid readers to fall into a mini depression when they finish a novel but don’t know what to read next. 

Pillow Fort Fun

Building a pillow fort is an essential part of childhood. You don’t have to be wealthy – this is a game that’s accessible for everyone. All you need are some pillows, blankets, and most importantly, a good imagination.  

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the pillows we used for our forts could play along with us? Perhaps they are in their own way. They just don’t have the communication skills to let us know about it. If you’re an adult reminiscing about your pillow fort days, there’s nothing stopping you from making one now! You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy fort construction. 

How’s Your Sixth Sense?

Here’s a fun take on the classic line from the Bruce Willis film, The Sixth Sense. Instead of seeing ghosts with its sixth sense, this guitar sees air guitars. We don’t know why it’s so frightened, though – air guitars are cool! 

Perhaps if we could see air guitars, we’d be scared too. Maybe no one would want to play them if we knew what they really looked like. Thankfully, we can’t see them, so feel free to rock on and bust out your best air guitar moves!

Misspent Youth

It’s common for older people to reminisce about their younger days when they see people doing things they used to do. This mug has long since retired from its coffee and tea days and is now living in the bathroom. 

This is a beautiful way of connecting something we’ve all done with a mug to something we also go through in our own lives. It’s natural to reminisce about your old jobs and the activities you used to enjoy. So, we can all relate to this old mug!