Surrogacy
Shaniece Sturdy, a 21-year-old, had decided to become a surrogate, but she hadn't expected what was to come.
As Shaniece glanced from the monitor to her growing belly, a sense of unease washed over her. By the second trimester, her belly had expanded far more than she anticipated. She was constantly hungry, her back ached relentlessly, and she never seemed to feel quite right. The physical toll was unlike anything she had imagined.
First Time Pregnancy
The nurse spread some gel across her belly before gently pressing a device to her skin. "What you're feeling is completely normal for a first-time pregnancy," she reassured her.
The woman turned toward the monitor, her heart racing with anticipation. "Is everything alright?" she asked, her voice trembling with worry. The nurse didn't have a chance to respond; instead, she quickly reached for the phone to call a doctor.
The Dream Of Being A Mother
Shaniece dreamed of being a mother more than anything else. Growing up, she had seen her parents' enduring love for each other and watched her sister marry her high school sweetheart right after graduation. Inspired by these examples of lasting love and family, Shaniece longed to have a similar story of her own.
However, reality quickly shattered her hopes. She never imagined that her own marriage would be marked by such profound struggles and heartache from the very beginning.
Distance For Harmony
When Shaniece was just fourteen, Linda decided to leave their family home and move in with her partner. She felt that creating some distance would bring more harmony into her life.
Linda believed that having her own space would make things easier for her. By making this change, she hoped to simplify her daily life and find a better balance.
Occasional Weekend Visits
Despite their occasional weekend visits, the house felt empty and cold without him. She even found herself longing for their playful bickering, realizing how much she missed their closeness. The distance between them was growing, and it was becoming increasingly clear that things were changing.
Determined not to let their relationship drift further, she made a spontaneous decision to catch the next bus to see her older sister. But when she arrived, she was unprepared for what she found her sister's situation was far worse than she had imagined.
Visit To Her Sister
Shaniece stepped off the bus, grabbing her bags as she made her way toward her sister's house. As she walked, she spotted her sister’s husband driving his red truck straight in her direction. She smiled and waved to catch his attention, but he drove past without so much as a glance.
Normally, he was always friendly and easygoing, but the expression on his face sent a shiver down her spine. There was something different about him today, something unsettling. What could possibly be happening?
Didn't Even Notice Her Presence
Josh didn't even notice her presence, likely because he was preoccupied with some work-related issues. She chose not to confront him about his odd behavior, deciding it was best to let it go for now. Without saying much, she left the house and made her way to her sister's place.
When she finally arrived, the sight of her sister made her heart sink. Something felt terribly wrong, and a wave of anxiety washed over her. She knew instantly that this wasn't going to be an ordinary visit.
Puffy Cheeks
Linda's cheeks were puffy, and her eyes were bloodshot, clear signs that she had been crying. Grabbing her sister's hand with urgency, she asked, "Did he hurt you?"
Without waiting for a response, Linda hurried to the kitchen, wetting a cloth to wipe her sister's face. Her sister gazed at her and softly said, "No, don't be silly. I asked him to leave."
Assessing Her Sister
Shaniece paused and assessed her sister, well aware of her ability to discern truth from falsehood. She could tell Linda was sincere in her current state.
"Maybe we rushed into marriage too soon," Shaniece mused aloud. She then asked, "Why did you ask him to leave, Linda?" The answer she received was unexpected and left her taken aback.
Her Sisters Trembling Voice
Shaniece, her sister’s voice trembled as she spoke, “We’ve been trying for a year now. He’s talking about taking out another loan for IVF, but we just can’t afford it. We’re still paying off the first round.”
Seeing the despair in her sister’s eyes, Linda wiped away her tears and let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how much longer we can keep going like this.”
Support
Shaniece’s heart ached. She had never seen her sister so upset before. And she knew she would never be happy if she didn’t have a child.
So, she put on the kettle, grabbed a blanket, and stayed with her for the weekend. And during that time, she convinced her to try again. But she never expected her encouragement to have such an impact.
Struggles
It took nearly two years of treatment, but Linda eventually got pregnant. She wanted to keep it a secret until she reached her second trimester but unfortunately, she never made it.
After her miscarriage, she didn’t want to try again. But then, she changed her mind.
Depression
She became reclusive. And despite Shaniece’s best attempts, Linda didn’t leave the house for a month.
But her husband had one last idea to give her what she had always dreamed of.
Josh's Plan
Josh's idea was an unorthodox one, but it was Linda's last chance at happiness.
The blow of the miscarriage was still fresh in her mind, and she wasn't sure of anything anymore. But Josh's idea gave her hope.
A Sacrifice
Linda and Josh were about to try to convince Josh's sister to make an enormous sacrifice. But would she agree? Only time will tell.
So Josh invited her around to ask the big question.
The Big Question
They sat across the table from Josh's sister... fidgeting nervously. Would she agree?
All of Linda's hopes hung on the words Josh's sister said next.
Hope
But Linda would understand if she declined after all, it was a huge thing to ask someone to do.
Then, she looked up and said the three words they had never expected.
An Answer
"I'll do it." As soon as the words left Josh's sister's mouth, Linda felt fear and excitement wash over her.
Finally, she could dream of having a child of her own... she couldn't thank Josh's sister enough.
Inspired
Josh had suggested that his own sister act as a surrogate for their child. She would provide the host womb for their baby.
But Shaniece could never have expected to be so inspired by the young woman's act of kindness.
Dreams
Had the woman thought this through? It wouldn't be easy but she had agreed.
Little did Shaniece know that Josh's sister would inspire her in the years to come.
Convincing
Josh’s sister offered to carry their child. Understandably, Linda was hesitant.
She didn’t want to get her hopes up again, but what was the harm in trying one last time?
Options
If it didn’t work, they could look into fostering there were plenty of children in need of a good home. Shaniece prayed every night for the pregnancy to take.
Then, a miracle happened.
Miracle
When Josh’s sister gave birth, Shaniece cried for hours. She had never been so happy. If anyone deserved to be a mother, it was Linda.
Then she made a promise to herself.
A Promise
Shaniece swore then that someday, she, too, would make someone’s dream come true.
But when that day finally came, she never expected her experience to be so unique.
Thoughtful
Shaniece had just turned 21 when she met Joanna and Steve. And when she informed her family of her decision to give birth to another couple’s baby, they were filled with pride.
She flew to Los Angeles to undergo the procedure and then returned home. But things didn't go as she had hoped.
Something Off
“I was only 21 at the time, but I wasn’t interested in partying and drinking. I wanted to help another couple fulfill their family dream.”
Joanna and Steve were over the moon. However, after the first trimester, she knew something was off. And she was right.
Waiting Game
The only other surrogate Shaniece had met Josh’s sister, who worked through sickness, nausea, and sleep deprivation until she was nearly 8 months pregnant.
Shaniece was lucky. But still, she couldn't help but worry.
Growing
Pregnancy didn’t have any impact on her daily life. However, when she noticed that her stomach continued to bulge throughout her second trimester, she worried.
Babies grow tremendously during the final months of pregnancy. She picked up her phone and called her doctor.
Check-Up
Shaniece had just finished her second trimester when she visited the doctor for her 10-week scan. She twiddled her thumbs above her bump as she lay on the table.
When the doctor returned with the paperwork, he was silent.
News
Was something wrong? Was the baby okay? She would never forgive herself if she let Joanna and Steve down.
Then, the doctor looked up from his notes and said three words that sent a chill down her spine.
Scan
“You’re having triplets,” Dr. Ryan shared with a smile on his face. Shaniece’s temperature increased.
Joanna and Steve wanted one baby, not three. Would they be happy? Would they be mad?
Huge
Thankfully, the couple was overjoyed. As weeks passed, Shaniece’s stomach swelled to a ginormous size.
Her body ached, but she knew she was doing the right thing. But she didn’t anticipate this.
Birth
Shaniece eventually gave birth to three healthy babies—two girls and one boy—Willow, Daisy, and Harrison.
“Even though I was only 21 and it was a huge responsibility carrying their babies, it was one of the best experiences of my life," she happily proclaimed.
Easy
"I had no morning sickness or cravings, the whole pregnancy flew by and with the support of Joanna and Steve, it was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone,” she later shared.
But she didn’t say goodbye forever.
Thoughtless
After two weeks of intensive care, Willow, Daisy, and Harrison were strong enough to go home for the first time with their parents.
Shaniece now visits them every birthday. And for those who have questioned her motives, she’d shed some light on her decision.
Information
“I think a lot of people presume you have to use your own eggs when you’re a surrogate, but that’s not the case at all. "
"I had Joanna and Steve’s embryo inserted in Los Angeles, so it’s biologically their child, not mine; I was just the host womb.”
A Toll On Her Body
But carrying someone else's babies can also have more than psychological implications, and carrying triplets can have a negative impact on a woman's body, especially on a mother so young.
And Shaniece started to experience them.
Damage
"I’m in a relationship now and would like to have more children. I’ve had a miscarriage, so I do wonder if carrying the triplets has had an effect on my body," she said later in an interview.
But she also shared some other advice.
Some Advice
"My advice for anyone thinking about surrogacy is to make sure you’ve done your research and that you have support around you," Shaniece shared.
But there are other considerations, too.
No Remuneration
"You don’t get paid to be a surrogate – you only get expenses for your travel and so on..."
"So if you’re looking to make money, this isn't for you," Shaniece added.
Contesting UK Laws
Shaniece's experience of being a surrogate mother has inspired her to try to change current laws regarding surrogacy in the UK.
She feels like parents should have more control.
Questions
She says: "Throughout the pregnancy, I had all the questions about the babies directed at me, for example, birth plans, vaccinations, scan dates."
"I would just turn to Joanna and Steve and say, 'what do you want to do?'"
Change Is Needed
"...it was my body, but they weren't my babies. If the law could change so the parents could make the decisions, it would make things easier on both parts," she added.
Many surrogate mothers feel the same way, too.